Being unkind for not dating single mothers
I’ve spent the past three years dating as a single mom – including a year-long relationship—and let me tell you something: there is no better time than to date than as a single mom. When I was dating in my twenties, I was looking for a husband with a healthy set of testicles with which to sire children. You survived that, and not only are you better for it – you’re sexier for it. Age and childbearing has allowed you to enjoy your body for all it has to offer. When I met my husband in my mid-twenties, I was still struggling to make my way professionally. When we do have time for boyfriends, we make the very most of it. There is less temptation to piddle away hours waiting on losers to commit just because you’re lonely.
I can check that off my life to-do list and look for a man for love or companionship or sex – or all three. Whether the single part was by way of divorce, breakup, death or choice, it was a big deal, and that changed you. I have lunches to make and doctor appointments to schedule. Busy single moms have fewer lonely nights to fill, fewer dinners eaten alone.
Through my circle of friends and single moms I meet through this blog, I often hear cries of horror about the thought of single mom dating. What man in his right mind would date someone with so much baggage? People are attracted to these single-mom qualities in a real, meaningful way. Now, I have reached many milestones in my career, relationships, and inner life. Listen: Other ways to listen: i Tunes ♦ Stitcher ♦ Tune In ♦ Sound Cloud ♦ Google Play Nothing breaks my heart more than a woman who cannot be without a man.
My single-mom body is a wreck and I haven’t been on a date in 15 years! Confidence, a full heart, and life experience all equals being a richer, fuller person. My longest friendships were still forming, and I was still figuring out what was most important to me. Women with kids have a whole lot of responsibilities. Time is precious, and efficient moms know that the best way to spend time with a man is truly enjoying a really, really great one.
We have undergone massive life shifts from single-hood to married life, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding; enduring radical changes to our bodies and minds.
We are connected, interwoven with the lives of our children.
Hidden under the layers of responsibility lie our own needs, which resurface as we disengage from our identity as a married woman.
A wound that even when healed becomes an emotional scar. Always Talking About Your Kids I am not a mother but many of my friends are. When you are out on a date with a handsome man who is courting you, keep the kid talk to a minimum. If you treat him with kid gloves, prepare for battle.
Single mothers like my mother and my friend aren’t trusting of men. I love their kids but I don’t want to hear about everything Joaquin or Sienna did. One of my cousins copes with the stress of raising three boys by being dismissive.
From the outside, we may look the same as our single comrades (with no children,) but the insides of our lives, minds and hearts are vastly different.
Single moms don't have the same free will as other single women.