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But despite this, I agreed to go on a dinner date with the filmmaker the following week, because, well, I really liked him.I sort of expected him to acknowledge it—especially given his film’s epic tiny peen monologue—but instead he just flipped me over and spanked me.You can identify abbreviated Project Ideas by the asterisk at the end of the title.If you want a Project Idea with full instructions, please pick one without an asterisk.So we get into bed, and I move my hand down, and there it was—a baby carrot inside his tighty-whities.It was a few years ago (I've changed a few small details to protect his identity), and I had a crush on a 28-year-old filmmaker who frequented the bar I worked in.

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But then came the scene where his character made a joke about having a small dick.

I might have let the joke slip by unanalyzed if it weren’t for how he went into lengthy detail about the years of insecurity he’d suffered because of his tiny penis, confessing that he special-orders tiny condoms online, because even the smallest condoms available in stores are too baggy and just slip off.

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